There’s no denying that language is constantly evolving. One of the biggest points of confusion in English grammar revolves around the use of “who” and “whom.” Ask anyone about these two words, and you’re bound to get a wide range of responses—some might confidently say “whom” is an old-fashioned relic, while others insist it’s the correct form for every formal situation. But what’s the real story here? Should you care about choosing between “who” and “whom” in your everyday communication, or is it simply a matter of pedantic grammar rules?
In this comprehensive guide, we’re diving deep into the use of “who” vs. “whom,” unraveling the confusion, and providing actionable advice for when and how to use these pronouns. Whether you’re writing emails, crafting professional reports, or just trying to sound more polished in casual conversations, we’ve got you covered.
Understanding the Grammar: “Who” vs. “Whom”
First things first, let’s break down the core difference between “who” and “whom.” The distinction is quite simple once you understand the basic roles these words play in a sentence.
- Who is a subject pronoun. It refers to the person or people performing an action.
- Whom is an object pronoun. It refers to the person or people receiving the action of the verb.
A Quick Rule of Thumb
You can think of who as the “doer” and whom as the “receiver.” Here’s how to apply that in real-world examples:
- Who is coming to the party? (The person doing the action is coming.)
- To whom should I address this letter? (The person receiving the action of being addressed.)
Test It with “He/She” and “Him/Her”
A simple trick for figuring out which pronoun to use is to substitute he/she or him/her into the sentence.
- Who is calling me? (Substitute: “He is calling me.”)
- To whom are you speaking? (Substitute: “I am speaking to him.”)
This rule of thumb is especially helpful for figuring out the correct form in tricky sentences. Let’s move on to examine the historical context and modern shifts in grammar usage.
The Evolution of Usage: Why “Whom” Is Declining
Historically, whom was essential for distinguishing between subjects and objects in sentences. It was the cornerstone of what was known as prescriptive grammar, where strict rules were followed to maintain “proper” English.
However, over the years, whom has been slowly falling out of favor in both spoken and written English. The main reason? Language tends to evolve toward simplicity. Most native English speakers find the word whom a bit formal and cumbersome in everyday speech.
Language Simplification
One of the driving factors behind the decline of “whom” is the natural process of language simplification. As English speakers began to favor a more relaxed, conversational tone, they started dropping “whom” in favor of the more common “who.” This shift became particularly evident in informal settings, such as conversations, social media posts, and casual writing.
A Shift in Popularity
In fact, studies show that whom has become increasingly rare, particularly in spoken English. A Google Ngram search, which tracks the frequency of words in published books, shows a sharp decline in the use of “whom” over the past century, while “who” has maintained steady popularity.
Is “Whom” Still Important in Formal Writing?
Although whom is becoming less common in day-to-day usage, it still holds significance in formal writing—particularly in academic, legal, and journalistic contexts. In professional settings, using “whom” correctly can elevate your communication and demonstrate your mastery of traditional grammar rules.
Let’s dive into when and where this traditional rule still holds weight.
When Formality Matters: Should You Still Use “Whom”?
The answer depends largely on the context. While whom may seem outdated in casual conversations, it remains a key part of formal business writing and academic contexts. If you’re crafting an important email or a formal letter, using “whom” correctly can help you maintain a sense of professionalism and polish.
Business and Academic Writing
In industries where formal tone and language precision are critical, whom is still considered grammatically correct. For instance, you might write:
- “To whom it may concern…”
- “The team with whom I collaborated…”
Similarly, in academic papers or essays, using “whom” correctly helps to show that you understand traditional grammar rules. While it’s less likely to be required in such settings, adhering to the rule still conveys a level of sophistication.
Legal, Journalistic, and Scholarly Contexts
In fields like law or journalism, where clarity and authority are paramount, using “whom” can make a difference. A lawyer might write, “The individual whom you are referring to…” or a journalist may use “The person whom the witness described…” in a formal report. These contexts still favor the more precise distinction.
Casual Conversations
In everyday speech or casual writing, there’s less need for “whom.” When you’re speaking with friends or colleagues informally, it’s perfectly acceptable to use “who” instead.
Digital Communication & Changing Grammar Norms
With the rise of digital communication, grammar rules have evolved yet again. The impact of text messaging, social media, and email on who vs. whom is significant. Let’s explore how modern technology has influenced grammar choices.
The Rise of Informal Writing
In text messages, tweets, and status updates, the use of whom feels unnecessarily formal. People tend to prioritize speed and convenience, leading them to drop “whom” in favor of the more casual “who.” For example:
- “Who’s coming to the meeting?” vs. “To whom should I send the invite?”
Email Etiquette and Professional Communication
On the flip side, emails that require a formal tone may still demand the use of “whom.” Think of it like this: If you’re sending an email to a client or a professor, using “whom” can reflect a more respectful and professional tone, especially in introductory or formal requests:
- “To whom it may concern, I’d like to inquire…”
- “I am reaching out to whom I spoke earlier…”
In most professional settings, people still expect a certain level of grammar formality. It’s best to maintain traditional grammar rules where necessary, but always balance that with modern-day conversational style when appropriate.
Practical Guidelines: How to Decide Between “Who” and “Whom”
Now that we’ve explored the nuances of both pronouns, let’s provide you with some clear and practical rules for deciding when to use “who” and when to use “whom.”
1. Use “who” when the pronoun is the subject of the sentence.
Example:
- Who is going to the party? (subject = the person doing the action)
2. Use “whom” when the pronoun is the object of the verb or preposition.
Example:
- To whom should I send the email? (object = the person receiving the action)
3. Substitution Test
Substitute who or whom with he/she or him/her to check which one fits.
Example:
- I don’t know who did it. (Substitute: “He did it.”)
- The person whom you are looking for is here. (Substitute: “You are looking for him.”)
4. Keep it Simple in Casual Writing
For emails, texts, and social media posts, it’s usually fine to stick with “who.” Save “whom” for situations where formality or clarity matters most.
Conclusion: The Best Approach for Modern Communication
The debate over who vs. whom might seem like a trivial issue, but it highlights the ongoing evolution of language. While “whom” still has its place in formal writing, it’s increasingly becoming less common in everyday conversation and digital communication.
So, what should you do? The key takeaway is simple: Use whom in formal, professional, or academic settings where precision matters, and feel free to use who in most casual conversations or digital messages. Ultimately, clarity is more important than grammar perfection.
By following these guidelines and keeping an eye on your audience and context, you can navigate the “who” vs. “whom” debate with confidence—whether you’re writing an important email or texting your best friend.
This guide provides practical advice while ensuring you understand the importance of both words in the context of modern communication.
FAQs: Who to Contact or Whom to Contact?
1. Is “Whom to Contact” Correct?
Yes, “whom to contact” is grammatically correct because “whom” serves as the object of the verb “contact.” However, in everyday conversation, most people say “who to contact,” which is widely accepted in informal settings.
2. How Can I Easily Remember When to Use “Who” or “Whom”?
Use the he/him test:
- If you can replace it with he/she, use who (e.g., “Who is calling?” → “He is calling.”)
- If you can replace it with him/her, use whom (e.g., “Whom should I contact?” → “I should contact him.”)
3. Is “Who Should I Contact?” Incorrect?
Technically, “whom should I contact?” is correct, but “who should I contact?” is more commonly used in speech and writing. Most people, including professionals, use “who” in casual and even some formal situations.
4. Do I Need to Use “Whom” in Professional Emails?
It depends on the formality of the email. If you’re writing to a client, professor, or formal contact, “whom” may be more appropriate. However, in general business emails, “who” is widely accepted and sounds more natural.
5. Is “To Whom It May Concern” Still Used?
Yes, “To Whom It May Concern” is still used in professional and formal letters, especially when the recipient’s name is unknown. However, if you know the recipient’s name, it’s better to address them directly.
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